She saw that her son had a mark on his arm, but she brushed it off after first noticing it. However, she was no longer casual about it when she learned what it really was. As a matter of fact, it made her furious and made her blood boil! She could not believe that the school would treat her son so harshly. It was clear to her that the school needed to be held accountable for this. She took a photo that she can show everyone so that she can get the word out there. Her poor son had to go through such a traumatic thing at such a young age!
When Her Son Returned With A Mark On His Arm, She Thought It Was Nothing Until The Truth Came Out
She Did Her Research
Before Tara Chavez decided on Desert Cove Elementary School, she scoped out the other schools in their part of Phoenix, Arizona. She wanted her son to have the best experience in school, so she put in the effort and did her research on the matter.
She Did Her Research
Well-Being Of A Young Boy
Mind you, she did not only consider factors like class size and affordability. In the end, the biggest factor was her son’s well-being. Her child was a sensitive kid, so he needed to be treated with the care and respect he deserved.
Well-Being Of A Young Boy
The School Sounded Perfect
Tara attended a number of open days that the school offered. She thought that Desert Cove Elementary would be a great fit for her little boy. She would not have enrolled him there if she did not think so!
The School Sounded Perfect
Controversy
As she did so, she did not know that she would regret this decision in the future. The mother had no idea that their family and the school would be in the middle of a controversy! When she talked about the problem, the other parents were there to support them. What a relief it is to hear that.
Controversy
Everything Was Going Well
Cayden was able to finish an entire term at his new school. At first, they thought that all was well. He did a good job with his studies. Tara thought that this was a good indicator that it was a good choice.
Everything Was Going Well
School Ethos
The values of the school suited the parents. They thought that it was a good place for their baby. Not only that, but the little boy liked his teachers. The problem in the story did not have anything to do with the classroom. No, it was about an incident that took place in the cafeteria.
School Ethos
He Went Home Upset
It was the end of the school day, so Tara picked Cayden up. Based on the look on his face, she could tell that he was upset by something. However, she had no idea what the problem was. There was something off, that much was sure.
He Went Home Upset
Bad Behavior
Her first thought that there was a bully terrorizing her son. Could it be a classmate or a teacher? She started to feel very concerned. It was always tough to deal with bullies, especially when you are a kid.
Bad Behavior
Concerned Mom
She decided to stay cool. How could she make him feel better? This mom asked her little boy how his day went. She was a good parent and did not want anything more than to get to the bottom of things.
Concerned Mom
The Mark On His Arm
Cayden only told her, “Fine.” The little boy looked out the window and refused to look at her. Tara used a gentle tone to ask him if there was a problem at school. Sadly, he only gave her a curt answer. This was all the indication she needed to figure out that he would rather not talk about what happened.
The Mark On His Arm
Driving Home
Tara decided that she was not going to bother him for now. Cayden most likely needed space. Despite this, she hoped that they could discuss it at home. All of a sudden, she saw something blue on his arm.
Driving Home
He Was Branded
She looked at his arm more intently to see what it was. In the beginning, she assumed that it was dirt. However, it soon became clear to her that this was incorrect. But what could it possibly be if not that?
He Was Branded
What Did It Read?
Her mom instincts told her that this was part of the reason he was so upset. It was a good thing that she was so in tune with her son! However, she wanted to get the full story out of him.
What Did It Read?
She Feared The Worst
This was a clue that was going to help her understand. However, she wanted to keep mum about it until they got home. This mother was driving, so she had to keep her focus on the road until then.
She Feared The Worst
Angry As A Raging Bull
Tara decided to let it go in the meantime. However, this did not mean that she felt at peace. As a matter of fact, her grip on the steering wheel was so tight that her knuckles turned white. She was angry, and she was not going to stop until someone was held accountable for this. You did not mess with her son!
Angry As A Raging Bull
They Held A Family Meeting
When they reached the house, Cayden almost made a dash for his room. His mother, however, did not let him do that without explaining what happened. She also asked her husband to come over before she took out a chair and asked the little boy to sit down.
They Held A Family Meeting
Perhaps It Was A Bruise
Her husband Mark held his arm and lifted the sleeve so that he could see the blue mark there. Their first assumption was that he had a bruise. However, it was actually just ink! Did Cayden write on his arm? This theory did not hold water after his parents read what letters words spelled out.
Perhaps It Was A Bruise
Written In Capital Letters
The mark came with two words on it. In thick blue letters were the words “LUNCH MONEY.” But what did any of this mean? Who did this to poor Cayden? What exactly was going on here?
Written In Capital Letters
The Lunch Lady
Cayden revealed to his parents that the mark was given to him by the lunch lady at school. Mark and Tara felt like this was an attempt to shame the little boy in a public way. They felt angrier as the young boy explained what happened in greater detail.
The Lunch Lady
He Had No Choice
During an interview, Tara was in tears as she explained what happened, “I asked if he was given a choice by the lunch lady, and he said, ‘No, she just grabbed my wrist and put the stamp on.’” What kind of parent would you be if the thought of your kid being humiliated does not break your heart?
He Had No Choice
Social Media
Cayden still had enough funds to get some food, but the account was already running low. Tara then went online to check how much money is still there. It only infuriated her some more when she noticed that it still had 75 cents. Mark took a photo of the stamp for the entire internet to see.
Social Media
They Humiliated The Poor Boy
“He was screaming and crying the entire time,” Tara narrated. She continued, “He was humiliated, didn’t even want me to take a picture of it.” We are sure that we would be furious if someone we loved got embarrassed in that manner as well.
They Humiliated The Poor Boy
Major Disaster
Things like this can easily make a child feel bad. It is also terrible for their self-esteem. Typically, the school would send them an email reminder when the account was running low already. However, did the school really do something wrong by stamping little Cayden?
Major Disaster
It Went Viral
As you might have guessed, the post went viral on social media. This was a pretty outrageous story, so we can see why people rallied behind this family. It even earned hundreds of comments and shares!
It Went Viral
Twitterverse
We are glad that the family was not alone in this battle. People left comments to say that it was only right for them to stand their ground. Their friend even said, “Like, y’all couldn’t send a note?”
Twitterverse
Comments Kept Coming
Here is another comment from a different friend of hers: “Y’all couldn’t think for two seconds about the numerous references of branding someone as a stigma?” We are glad that someone brought this up.
Comments Kept Coming
Other Kids With Similar Experiences
“What kind of twisted person holds a child’s arm & applies a big, block-lettered stamp in black ink to their little arm?!!” another netizen said. It was a viral post, and many people wanted to have their say about it. Some just said that it was “unacceptable.”
Other Kids With Similar Experiences
Loads Of Notifications
This parent did not have any connection to the family nor the school but still felt strongly about what happened. Their message read, “If a kid’s parents don’t have any money to deposit to the child’s account … do they just keep stamping the child every day? Seriously.”
Loads Of Notifications
The School Responds
At this point, it is a good idea to see how the school responded to this incident. Tara received an email after the story got a lot of attention online. What do you think the message had to say?
The School Responds
They Denied The Claims
The principal of the elementary school Stacey Orest said that the “reminder stamps” were not handed out to humiliate the children. She also told Tara that the staff members of the cafeteria were “supposed to ask them if they want a stamp or a reminder slip.”
They Denied The Claims
Unhappy Parents’
Tara did not feel content with the explanation she received from the school. The other parents agreed with her that it was time for the school to stop using those “reminder” stamps. After all, the children did not deserve to feel humiliated like that.
Unhappy Parents’
The Official Statement
The next Monday, the school district released an official statement regarding this incident. The Paradise Valley Unified School District spokeswoman Becky Kelbaugh shared, “It was never the intention of Desert Cove Elementary School administration and staff to embarrass any student by using the stamp.”
The Official Statement
It Was Not The First Time
She also said, “Students were given the choice between a letter or reminder stamp. Going forward, Desert Cove Elementary School will send a letter home notifying parents of low lunch balances.”
It Was Not The First Time
Phoenix New Times
When she spoke to the Phoenix New Times, she also said that Desert Valley Elementary School will stop the use of the “reminder stamps.” It is a good thing that they accepted this valid criticism. In reality, there is still some work to be done. This is not the only school that uses this practice!
Phoenix New Times
It Made His Blood Boil
The next story is about Jon Bivens, who is the dad of a student at Gardendale Elementary School. His son was in third grade and went through an incident comparable to what Cayden experienced. This young boy had a similar mark when he got home as well.
It Made His Blood Boil
Surprised
Jon actually thought that the mark was nothing bad. In fact, he said, “I thought it was a good job stamp.” He knew that this could not be true when he saw that this was the message on the stamp instead: “I need lunch money.” This came as a surprise to him because he usually got notified about it.
Surprised
No Justification For This
Jon and his wife would make packed lunches for their little boy. However, they still left money in his lunch money fund so that he can get a treat every here and there. The course of action that the school took made him angry.
No Justification For This
Not Acceptable
On top of that, it was even more unreasonable since there was still money in the account. The little boy got stamped even though he still had $1.38 to his name. The school did something unacceptable here.
Screenshot 17
The Ethics Of This Practice
“They herd these kids like cattle,” explained Jon. He was mad since it felt like his son got “branded” by the school, “When you start stamping a message on a child’s body instead of calling…it’s just not okay,”
The Ethics Of This Practice
Bullying
He was also interviewed and explained how he felt. “It’s a form of bullying and shaming the kids,” he said. What do you have to say about this “branding” practice used by cafeterias? Is this a good or bad idea?
Bullying
Greatly Humiliating
Let us provide some context for you. Desert Cove Elementary School is quite affluent. As a matter of fact, less than a third of the student population is qualified for free or cheaper lunches. We are sure that this makes it even harder for Cayden, who was embarrassed in front of his fellow students.
Greatly Humiliating
‘Lunch Shaming’
We do not think that it is right for a school to implement such a system. “Lunch shaming” might make a student skip eating altogether. When a child does not get enough nutrition and is embarrassed like that, they are going to perform worse in school and might even develop mental health issues.
Lunch Shaming
Deeply Apologetic
Desert Cove Elementary School released a statement. “It was never the intention of administration and staff to embarrass any student by using the stamp,” it said. It looks like they truly regretted doing this.
Deeply Apologetic
Many Years Before
This was a system that Desert Cove Elementary School had been using for years already. It was a good thing that they decided to consider what the parents had to say and has since discontinued the “stamping method.” Whew!
Many Years Before